I guess these statistics didn't really surprise me (when I discovered them around a month ago), the reason being that points, annually, are the ones that make us reassess family and relationships. Especially Christmas, I mean, it's almost a year gone. For most, it's also the biggest holiday in the year that we all share. The giving of gifts is a catalyst to the thoughts of really knowing a person. You need to accumulate all your thoughts about them to come up with something that they, individually, will enjoy receiving.
So what if you're persistently asked what you want by your loved one? Is that a sign that they don't know you? Or just a sign that they're unwilling to take the chance and make a mistake?
This time last year, and the years before that, I remember thinking the same thing. I wondered whether the unromantic gifts of computer equipment were really what I wanted from a boyfriend. I would have loved to have said "surprise me" but if I had done that, I doubt that anything at all would have come of it, let alone anything good. This year, with my wonderful Mark, that is just what I have done. I have told him very little, and let him make the decision.
But is it right to expect this flourish of romantic inspiration from our loved ones? And do they need the extra stress of trying to think of the perfect gift? Especially if they're not the most organised people in the world. I guess that's for you, as a couple (or individual) to decide.
I do know, however, that those unromantic gifts that I recieved on those years have completely slipped my mind. And more than that, I have no emotional or nostalgic connection to them and that day, or them and that person even. They are things that I got at some point, from someone, that I use for something. I'd much rather have something (espeically from someone I love) that symbolised the knowledge of my character.
Take my glass elephant from Mark for example (though spontaneously bought rather than as a Christmas present), it sits on my desk, and every time I see it, it brings back memories of wandering around Malta with him, experiencing things that I would never have dreamed. In short, when I see it, is symbolises the risk both of us made for our relationship this summer, and the happiness we found. Whenever I look at it I can't help smiling.
Getting presents that I can do that with make me truly appreciate the fact that the person is in my life. I have a particular fondness of things for my desk, and anyone who knows me also knows that fact. Another of it's occupants is a model of Buttercup the unicorn in Toy Story 3. It was from Hayley, and I love it and am reminded of how well she knows me.
In no way am I suggesting that there is a way to win your uncertain partner back with the perfect present, but perhaps next time you'll make that extra effort. And by the way, while we're on this topic, don't think that just because it's been more than one or two years in a relationship, you don't need to make an effort. Relationships take effort, and when they're good they're worth it.
Let me leave you with this simile: Relationships are like Bonsai trees, they need constant attention, but when done right, the beauty is as dazzling and far outweighs the effort.
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