Ask yourself this: What do you want from the next five years? I know what I'd like personally; a job, a home, perhaps a marriage... these are all realistic things, obtainable things. But what about those who want more from the next five years, and what if you don't know what you want? A lot of people have no idea.
Where do you see yourself in the next five years? With that same partner that you're with now? In the same job? In the same house? And if the answer is no, is there a reason you're not making plans to be otherwise?
Do you and your partner want the same things? This question isn't meant in terms of little details, such as what kind of job you'd like or how you want to decorate your living room, but in terms of the big things, house, children? I mean, for a relationship to succeed you need to be on the same page, have you ever tried looking at a magazine with someone who was already looking at the page ahead, it's annoying as hell.
You need to have at least one common goal with that person, otherwise where the hell do you expect it to go?
The timeline is important too, are you willing to wait around all those years for the proposal that you know will only come from years of heavy hint-dropping? Or do you want someone who has the same timeline as you? Someone who would happily achieve and surpass your expectations? Well everyone wants that, everyone wants to find the perfect partner.
And if you have that, patience is key. I read a book by a man about cracking the code of men. It told me a load of things I already knew, but it also told me that patience, in any situation, is a key virtue. Bickering, shouting, some people air their thoughts that way, but each of the partners see it as something that isn't serious. They don't mean what they're saying, it's an argument, they're angry. But that doesn't mean that there is no truth behind it.
In order for the relationship to survive the ages, there needs to be patience, and trust. Because if the shit hits the fan, and they don't do anything to help then they're just adding to the damage. You can't hold everything together on your own, even if you're the strongest person on earth. You need a backup, and there is a reason you're called partners.
On another note, honesty is how you should start out. No matter how insecure you are, you need to show the other person who you are, and not some confident persona of you. If you show someone that you are something, someone, you are not, they go into the relationship blind. You wouldn't want that so why should they be put through it too? That way they know who you are and how you work, and they're less likely to try and change you into someone they'll like when you become comfortable enough to drop the persona.
As Mark would say, "start as you mean to continue" meaning: if you put the effort in at the beginning, don't let that slide away. She wants morning sex? Give her morning sex, and not just once. He wants to be ravaged at the neck? Do it every time, not just once. Both women and men are guilty of this. It's about appreciation.
I guess we're not so different after all.
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