I mean say, for example, you don't do your own washing? What if you take it back to your parents' house? Well I'd say, if that were the case, you need a damn sharp thwack over the head. Your parents raised you, sure, but that doesn't make them your personal washing service, besides they have lives too. Why do you live under the impression that they should have anything to do with your washing now? You moved out of their house, you're no longer their responsibility. And what are you going to do once you have kids? "Oh here dad, here's our entire family's washing for you!" If I were one of your parents I would tell you where to go. Respecting your elders? Hell, you don't know the first thing about respect.
In a year or two I expect to be packing up and flying away from this "nest" myself. Let me tell you, I will certainly be doing my own washing (or at least sharing duties with Mark). As far as I'm concerned, the cooking, cleaning, and washing are all joint things, just as watching TV, gaming, and sleeping are.
So what if your partner refuses to do their part? Well, if they're a human being who respects you, they will listen when you tell them, and do something about it. And that's what it comes down to, respect. Because if they respect you then they also respect your use of time, and your effort to put the house to rights. Respect extends to all things in life, when someone feels like that about you then they show it in everything. The Lily Allen song "Not Fair" fits with this quite nicely. In the first line she says that her man treats her with respect, but then in the chorus she says that, when it comes to the bedroom, he is only out for himself. Whenever I hear it I think "well, then he's not treating you with respect is he?"
On the flip-side of that, of course, there is the absolute disrespect of someone. Some people confuse it with hate, but it's not. Disrespect is a basic lack of respect for someone. Perhaps it's not respecting their boundaries or as simple as not listening when they tell you to stop. If you think they're joking the first time, well, fair enough, but when they tell you to stop repeatedly and they don't, well, that's just vile. And disrespect goes further than that at times, becoming violent. Rape would be an example of this, and in some sense perhaps any kind of abusive behaviour is rape. I mean, when we kill enemies without a care in games we describe it as "raping". Perhaps that could even apply to the parents and laundry thing, after all, you are taking advantage.
The third part of the respect coin would be loss of respect. This can only happen when there was respect there at one point, and usually comes about when someone breaks a promise (or many) or does something that violates you or others. There comes a time when you can no longer blame their failings on the rest of the world (as they do), and you have to give the blame to them (let's face it, they should be shouldering it anyway). Bad memory isn't an excuse either, if you don't like something, and they know, and they forget, well, they obviously don't respect that enough to remember it, or even write it down! For God's sake! There are ways to improve memory!
All this stuff: moving in with someone, not taking your laundry to your parents', doing your fair share in life; it all comes down to respect. Without respect there is nothing there, and it will fall apart. All you need to do to see that I'm right is look around, the lack of respect is plain!
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