London Expo and Other Stories.

Today Mark and I booked our tickets for the Eurogamer's London Expo for mid September. This will be a new experience to me, and I can't wait to get a load of pictures of the event. There's also something about Guild Wars Two there which I'm looking forward to despite my lack of enthusiasm for the game (at least until the release date has been announced).

Sometimes I wonder what it is with my friends when it comes to the excitement of a predicted game. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am glad that there will be a Guild Wars Two, it's just that I have at least three people going: "OMG I totally love the Sylvari!" and/or "The norn are awesome!"

First of all, you have no idea what the Norn/Sylvari are actually going to be like to play. You can't say you love them until you've tried them. Comments like "but I've read about them" make no sense here, because you have not experienced them! Anet could be lying to you, you never know.

Also! What is the point of deciding which character you're going to play when there is no end in sight for this long wait for this game. Guild Wars 2 has been in the works for at least six years and there has been no stated ball-park for release.

Anyway, rant over.

Other things going on in my life right now include slowly moving Mark in with Ash as well as placing one of my fish there.

Due to arrive today is the newest tank in my fishtank army, the biorb Flow. It looks amazing, but we'll have to see about that. Alfus is the designated fish for it, and he'll be moved over today.

We're staying over there tonight, and heading to London to visit Mark's cousin for his eighteenth birthday tomorrow. That should be fun, it's been a while since I've been to London after all.

Tales of Swarovski

So it's been a while since I had a chance to post. As some of you know, I have been in abroad for just over five weeks, and what a great five weeks they were!

The first two were spent in Malta, the third in Sicily and the last two back in Malta again. Long story short: we went out lots to places, took many photos, ate at a lot of places, drank a lot of cocktails, bought a lot of souvenirs, gave a lot of gifts, and generally had a good time.

In that time I also learned that I got a 2:1 in my degree and that this is a big deal in Malta. I hadn't expected anything, but three small animals from Swarovski followed from Mark, his sister Maria and her boyfriend Daniel, and their father Mario. I also bought one of these for myself (which was partly funded by Mark too).

From left to right: Bella the rabbit (given by Mario), Ziggy the woodpecker (I bought), Gracie the squirrel (given by Mark), Romeo the frog (given by Maria and Daniel).

Now I just need somewhere to display them. For the moment they stay in their boxes.

Watch for the new photo montage page that I am planning to do on the last holiday.

Other than that, let me say, it is good to be back in the UK. It rained last night and the grass is green and covered in water. The surroundings seem incredibly lush compared to Malta and I had missed it. It's also pleasantly cool here, around eighteen degrees. We can wear clothes without sweating and sleep under a duvet and feel cosy.

That's all for now, hopefully I'll post again sometime this week. :)

2:1

So I'm officially a graduate. I got an upper second-class degree which is exactly what I had been hoping for so I'm happy.

Also, I'm in Malta (sorry for the silence since leaving the UK) and have been for a week and a half now. In that time Mark and I have celebrated our anniversary and Ash has come over to spend a week here. He's leaving tomorrow. Part of me is happy about that and part of me is sad. On the one hand it will mean that Mark and I can spend some time relaxing and not running around everywhere, we can go on a well overdue shopping trip that wouldn't have been able to happen with Ash here. But the time with Ash has been a lot of fun, we've been to loads of places, enjoyed nights out and cooking for ourselves. I guess it's also a great benefit to working out how it will be when Mark and Ash move in together in a month and a half's time.

Our anniversary was one of fairly normal proportions. We spent time relaxing, which was something neither of us had been able to do since I arrived. We went out to a couple of places, shopping a little bit, then out for dinner that night. And what a dinner it was! We went to a Thai restaurant called "The Blue Elephant". This has special significance as the first of the collectible glass animals (that Mark got me) from Mdina glass was a blue elephant. The place was like walking into a different world where the staff make you feel like a queen and the food is divine. I guess that's no surprise, though, when the place has been given 5 stars for years and the "most romantic restaurant in Malta" award on top of that.

At the end they even gave me an orchid sprig.

I bought a small blue elephant from their gift-shop.

Plans For Summer

As the title suggests, in this post I am going to talk about what I'm doing this summer and what I plan to have done by the end of it.

Truth be told, I am far far behind on my summer writing project, but I am going to try and make headway with it while in Malta this year. I'm hoping that the change of scenery will help clear and focus my mind. This room is so small now, and, though adorned in all sorts of decoration, seems to have a little left to offer me in way of inspiration. I wonder if my imagination has grown small, or has been sucked dry by my Uni work. The latter is more likely, my imagination would be hard-pushed to wither at this stage of development, and my dreams are as vivid as ever.

Consequently, this summer, I have a whole load of books set up to be read. I also plan to have one on the go all the time from now on. If I'm honest I'll say that being told what to read and when to read it by has had a negative effect on me. I get the same thing with films, if people say I need to see something I immediately do not want to see it; however, this state of mind only lasts if I get told I need to see it often (this is what happened with the film Fight Club as well as the Uni books). For two years I have only been able to read in the summer, if at all. Last year I read The Timetraveler's Wife which was forced upon me by Hayley, possibly the only exception to the "Need to do" rule.

Here is the list of books I would like to read this summer:

• Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
• The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
• Watership Down - Richard Adams (this will be a multiple re-read, I love this book, it's probably my favourite).
• Ghosts of Ascalon - Matt Forbeck and Jeff Grubb (seriously, I should've read this one already being the Guild Wars whore I am).
• Assassin's Apprentice - Robin Hobb

Hopefully with this much reading going on (and a change of scenery) I'll gain enough inspiration to start writing again.

I leave for Malta in three days. Hopefully I'll have a fair amount to post about from then on. I may not have time to post it though. 

I'm more likely to post daily on Tumblr, feel free to follow me here.

Moving

So, ever since I started my Tumblr account I've actually been using that much more as a daily thing. It's been 15 days since I uploaded a daily photo and I figure it's probably time that I face the truth, I like Tumblr more as a daily thing than my blog. It's easier and doesn't require all that much effort.

Thus, the daily photo and thought will be moving there (kind of because I actually do them there anyway) and the pages will be deleted.

Also on the horizon is the movement of Mark and Ash into their place. It's assumed (and welcomed) by both of them that I'll be kind of Mark's permanently "plus one". This apparently means I'll be sleeping, eating, probably generally wandering around there most of the time (although officially still be at home).

It's a real shame that the landlord said no guinea pigs, but there you have it, that's why I'm not moving in there too.

The fact that Mark moves over here shortly is also a strange one. It will be an interesting change in the dynamic of our relationship, especially as we're essentially swapping roles in what we've been doing for the last year (me, hopefully working, and him studying). The idea of him actually being around for any length of time (in the flesh) hasn't quite dawned on me yet. It will be welcomed with arms wide open, but probably won't sink in until we fly back here and he moves in with Ash.

All in all there is a lot of movement happening in the impending future.
I'm looking forward to all of it.

Keeping My Options Open

Today I'm going to a family thing.


This means a load of people I haven't seen for years (or ever) asking me about my life. This will probably include questions like: "What are you going to do now that you've finished your degree."


The truthful answer to this is actually: "I don't have a clue! :)"


But this answer is always met with looks that blatantly say: omg! She's going to throw her life away!


What is it with this attitude?! 


Seriously, just because I don't know what I'm going to do doesn't mean I have no motivation or aspiration. For instance, I would like to be published in the future, I would like to have a job and own a car and a house and get married and have children. But right now I have no idea what kind of career I want.


In my experience, having a plan is useless anyway. Vague ideas are different, but a plan is stupid. It's only through a mixture of luck, fate and coincidence that we end up anywhere anyway, and when we get there we might not even like it.


People say they want to be a doctor, for instance, probably don't account for the long hours when they say it. They may hate it, they won't know until they try it.


I won't know what kind of career I want until I try a couple of things out. I don't expect to jump head-first into a job I will love. So, no, I don't know what I want to do, but that doesn't mean I won't try things out.


I'm not throwing my life away, it's called keeping my options open.

I have neglected you.

I have neglected you, dear readers, and for that I am sorry.

The last week has been a whirlwind of Guild Wars days. There have been times in Underworld, times with completing titles (I achieved max Survivor and max Sunspear (almost max Lightbringer, not quite there yet)), and times with guildies doing vanqs or dungeons. It's been fun, it has to be said.

This post is not about Guild Wars though.
This post is about you, and how great you are.

I may know you, I may not, but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate that you keep coming back here to find out what I've been up to. Maybe you watch my daily photo section or my thoughts page (which I have also been neglecting) maybe you come on to look at my writing information, or read about my friends or spend time just generally browsing. Perhaps you even come on because I bug you into doing so, or because you follow me on tumblr or twitter.

But whatever the reason for you being here, I want you to know that you are an amazing person, don't let anyone ever try and convince you otherwise. There are things you can do that most people can't, there are places you see in different ways to others.

Sometimes you feel down, I understand that, but you should know that those times won't be the only times you get, and the good times will roll back around soon enough.

Also, I find it helps to remember that you have the power to change your situation for the better. Just harness that and ride away from the bad. It might require stepping out of your comfort zone, but life is too short for comfort zones.

Be who you really are, and people will love you for it.
If they don't, to hell with them.

Thank you for visiting once again. :)

Objects That Tell Stories (The Desk 1)

Almost a year ago (give or take a month or two) I did a mini series of posts about items around my desk. I said I'd finish it at some point (because it was derailed by a fairly nasty incident), but I didn't find the time or motivation to do so. I guess you could say that this mini series that I'm about to start was the continuation of that. in my opinion, however, my life has changed too much in the last year for that to be a viable conclusion.

Shortly after I left the items instalments hanging, my life became suddenly tidy. Now I'm tidy to an extreme degree, I don't leave stuff on the floor or cluttered on chairs. I don't even have corners full of crap any more. So yeah, things changed.

This mini series will probably not be all together so I will be putting a tag on them. This will mean that, if you want to, you can look at them all on the same page. I am doing this series because these objects mean something to me, and I feel that telling you (as a reader) will give you more incite into who I am and what drives me. You may find this interesting, or you may not. Either way, I'm not really fussed, this is a self exploration thing mainly. 

Let's begin with the desk: My desk, it could be said, is the hub of my room. As Hayley commented the first time she saw me on webcam "you're in your natural habitat!". This is absolutely true, I spend the majority of my day sat before my screen partaking in various activities on my computer.

The Elephant Collection

These are probably my favourite items on my desk. Elephants are my favourite animal without a doubt (thought I have no idea why, they just appeal to me I guess). 

The blue elephant was a present from Mark on my first trip to Malta. I have two more animals in this same colour-scheme, but the elephant is still my favourite.

 The egg-cup elephant is where I keep my nose studs. 

The two small stone elephants are from a gem shop that Hayley and I frequent a fair bit. 

The wooden elephant came from Hawkin's Bazaar and is a mini puzzle. 

The Persian Family

This was also a present from Mark from the first time he visited the UK. We went into Winchester and into a toyshop and I saw them and explained how I had always asked for Sylvanian Families when I was younger and had been very envious of my cousin's collection of them, which included houses, families and all sorts of other stuff. 

The Persian family now sit on my desk. I guess they remind me of that time when I envied my cousin. I wouldn't envy her now, from what I've heard she's turned out a bit spoilt. 

This family have also become a symbol of my ambition to one day build a large, fully furnished, doll's house. 

Buttercup

For any of you who have seen the newest Toy Story movie, you will know exactly who this is. I went to see this movie with Hayley, Mark and Ash. I fell in love with Buttercup as soon as I saw him and kept nudging Hayley and saying, "Omg! It's a UNICORN!" every time he appeared on screen. 

This item was from Hayley for my birthday as a surprise present and I think it might have been one of my favourite presents. 

He sits right in the middle of my desk. I still feel the urge to point and exclaim "Omg! It's Buttercup!" whenever I watch Toy Story 3. 

Toucan and Croc

Toucan and Croc are a pair of glass animals that I brought back from Malta with me. I love glass stuff, and these are the perfect addition to my desk. 

My mind, over this year, has created personalities for them:

Croc is always laughing, with a dark sense of humour and a witty tongue. 

Toucan is more stern and scowls when Croc makes jokes about eating him. 

The Cut Crystal Dish

This was (yet another) present from Mark, this time for Christmas. Initially I had no idea what to do with it. Since being put on my desk it has become a small bits and bobs dish. 

I love the way it casts colours onto the surface of my desk. 

Well, that's it for now. The Desk 2 coming soon.

Buckets of Crazy

This is a phrase that me and Hayley have been batting around for a couple of months now. It's used to describe people who make a giant deal out of anything small that might not be as satisfactory as the person in question wants. I've seen several examples of this in the past month or two (hence the appearance of the phrase), and I have to say, behind all of that crazy there is nothing but low self-esteem hidden behind arrogance.

I wonder how insecurity can drive these people to do what they do, or say what they say. Surely they don't really believe that the world should revolve around them and everything that is disproving that must be doing it to spite them do they?

When I talk about buckets of crazy lots of people from my past come to mind, two particular ex-boyfriends especially. Their crazy was bad, and what was worse was that I succumbed to it. It's not difficult to sit and put up with the crazy, especially when you're in denial yourself.

Unfortunately, crazy also has a tendency to be passed on. It's an obvious truth that we mimic those around us to a certain extent, so this is, perhaps, no surprise.

What I want to ask, however, is why is the universal want to be liked by people, so prominent in those buckets-of-crazy few? Did something happen to them? Was it (excuse the Freud) their parents doing? A traumatised childhood?

I'm sure something must've happened at some point.

From a young age, I was without friends. I still have problems forming meaningful relationships. I know Hayley was like this too. We turned out (relatively) fine. So why these crazy people? Perhaps it's the exact opposite that causes this: by this I mean maybe they were liked, a lot. Maybe they got used to being liked, and fear that this would not be the case in new places makes them act out and behave in a disgusting and erratic manner.

I have news for those people: that crazy that you throw around, it's not attractive.

Foxgloves

Even though it was only 10am when I went to feed the birds this morning, the garden was already abuzz with insects. This year seems particularly good for them and, for a person who enjoys a breeze in her room, this isn't good news. I live my life with my window open, it's very rare that it's shut. Especially while Lizzie is at Uni, both of the top floors windows stay open most of the day, and the doors between our rooms also remain so. The added bonus of my parents being away this week (returning tomorrow), also means that I have no disturbance from my little brother just down the stairs.

The bugs, however, seem attracted to my room. I have no idea why; Thor is cleaned out every few days, and the room doesn't have anything particularly pungent in a good sense either. Yet, for the past few days there seem to be a couple of flies wandering aimlessly in squares around my room. They're right at head height when I stand up too.

Some part of me is glad that they're about though (not in my room, outside). I mean, without them I wouldn't see my favourite flowers beginning to bloom; that foxglove, this row of tulips. I adore foxgloves. This probably stems from my favourite Beatrix Potter story: Jemima Puddle-Duck. Mr Tod or "The Foxy Gentleman" as Jemima calls him, was always my favourite character, and the clearing in which he lived was absolutely beautiful. I just loved the foxgloves and windflowers in general. In gardens in general, I have a love of the uncultivated natural beauty of which the epitome is (I believe) the foxglove (though closely followed by giant thistles (I really hate the small ones because they're a nightmare for bare-feet, one of the only things I still dislike with a vengeance)).

Though I enjoy a breeze, I have to admit that the one blowing through the top floor this week has been a bit harsh. My display of origami dragons keeps getting tangled up, which is not fun. I'm a perfectionist, and seeing them like that makes me feel annoyed to a small degree.

Still, today has been a good day in general, and a last day of solitude before the rabble return. Tomorrow should be a lot of fun too, Chinese with friends, always good. Noodles here I come :)

The Friend Ship

Hayley tells me I make friends easily. I guess, to a certain extent, it's true. When meeting someone new I tend to give the person in question a couple of things about myself so that they can piece together who I am, I speak to them as if I've a;ways known them, I'm open (sometimes to the point of rudeness) but they always know where they are with me.

I'd personally say that, instead of making friends easily, I may acquaintances easily. I rarely ask anything from these people, and it's even rarer that I keep in contact with them after we've parted ways.

A few friends, that's how many I'd say I have in my life. Literally just four or five, the majority of my continued friendships are circumstantial, I don't know how they'd fair without that circumstance, nor do I want to know (by this I mean I'd prefer not to take them away from their circumstance (most of which is online gaming I'll admit)). The friends that stick around (such as Hayley and Ash) are treated like family, from joking to serious matters.

When I make a new friend I like to do it quickly, and tend to get to know them within a couple of hours of us meeting. "Getting to know them" here is a loose term meaning I get a feel for their character. Take Hayley for example, the first day we met we spent lunchtime together, finding that we have an incredible amount in common.

With all I've explained, it should be evident that ten minutes on the train just isn't enough time to get to know someone. I have little patience, it seems, for waiting when I'm alone. Whenever I have indicated that people have called me patient it's in a sense that I can put up with a lot of shit before becoming even mildly irritated (a skill that makes me a good monk).

The truth is that I loath waiting for anything with a passion. This could be the reason for my brutal honesty, I like to know where I stand and don't like to think I'm inflicting the same on other people. I will not lie to most people. As a consolation I have a tendency to ask inappropriate questions at times, but I don't take offence if they are not answered as long as I'm told they won't be.

With all this in mind I'm sat here hoping this Friend Ship will sail soon.

A List

Things I Will Miss About Uni:

1. The People.
Pretty self-explanatory. I've met a load of awesome people at uni. Purely through circumstance have we connected, and now we are parting ways. The likelihood of staying friends with most of them is quite slim (I'm not that great at communicating without the internet and something in common). Nevertheless, it has been fun guys, and who knows, my staying in touch skills may improve.

2. The Coffee.
This is pretty lame, but the hazelnut latte's that they do in the internet cafe at Uni are INSANE! I'll miss them a great deal. I'm going to have to get a coffee machine and learn to make my own. Otherwise my life will no longer be complete.

3. The Teachers.
Okay, so not all of them obviously. But most of them have taught me a great deal. I'll miss randomly wandering to Vanessa's office especially. I'll miss jokey moments that have been had with a lot of them. I'll miss their advice and their voices of experience. Yes, I'll even miss Andy's inappropriate comments.

4. Being Able to Casually Walk Into Winchester.
Some of my best moments in Uni were walking to those shops. Though I can still do it, the idea of me doing so when I should be in lecture will never be the same. I was a little rebellious in that respect, though not enough to hurt my marks.

5. Deadlines
This one sounds strange, I know, but I actually really like the deadlines. The reason is that I'm one of those super-organised people who does all the work like two weeks in advance, hands it in and then sits back and annoys everyone by telling them that they should've started already. I get a thrill out of hitting the deadline a week early and knowing I'm one of the few who did so.

6. Train Rides.
I love the train. I really do. I like the movement, I like standing, sitting down, looking out of the window. And meeting Hayley there to talk about random crap. I love the train.

7. Being Able To Go Barefoot All The Time
I'm well aware that I probably won't be able to do this when I am working. I will be expected to be normal and stuff. But at Uni it wasn't like that. I was allowed to go barefoot all the time and no one said anything (apart from occasional questions from teachers (just the normal questions)). Seriously, people were just all like "yeah, she's a creative writing student." It explained everything in one sentence. Although Hayley did spread the rumour that I was in a cult in the first year... but then I told people she was a lesbian (our little joke).


Things I Won't Miss About Uni:

1. Slow Computers
For any of you who read my Tumblr page, you'll know that the Uni computers are dire. They take ages to log on (in the internet cafe especially), spend a load of time loading up IE automatically (as if anyone in their right mind would use IE), they then make you use microsoft office, and to top it all off half the people on them aren't even working. You also are required to change your password every 3 months as if they think you shout it out every time you type it in or something. Hate to tell you this IT support staff, but most of us know how to keep a password safe. Just saying.

2. Waiting Around For Two Hours Between Classes
This is pretty self-explanatory. I mean, you go in, and have to spend two hours waiting between classes. It's not really enough time to pop into Winchester to shop, and it's too much time for a simple lunch. It's even more annoying if all your friends aren't in the next class and decide to go home. You're left aimlessly browsing the internet for an hour and a half, spending ridiculous amounts of money on caffeine just to crash completely in your next lecture.

3. Emails
I swear that the majority of the Uni emails are complete trash. "Check your emails" is what all the teachers tell us, so we do, just to get a whole load of people spamming each other with emails about something that doesn't even concern us. And then you get some emails that are key to your Uni life, and they're the ones that look the most spammy and you want to avoid like the plague. Also, half the teachers don't even email back; they tell you to "email me if you have any questions/concerns/work you want me to look at" and then never reply. So freaking useful.

4. Survey
"How well did the module do what you thought it would?", "are you happy with what your learned?", "Were the resources given to you useful?". Yes seriously, every single module has a survey. Every single one. I don't even care! I don't care! I hate surveys! It's why I hang up when people cold-call and ask me to do one.

5. Applying For Student Finance
I hate the student finance system. Oh by the way, we need your parent's information. Oh by the way, we need you all to send your souls to us for analysis. Oh by the way, we can't give you any money because we haven't received this form. Oh yeah... now you owe us three spaceships and a hot air balloon. Also, can you complete this survey to tell us if we're working okay or not? You want to know what I think, student finance? >:(

Blog in Pictures: Day In The Life Of An Anteater.

Get out of bed nice and early.

Have some breakfast.

Do the washing.

Check Facebook.

Meet a friend for lunch at a fancy restaurant.

Call a meeting at work. 

Go for a walk in a forest.

 On the way back stop and feed the ducks.

Watch TV while eating dinner.

Go to bed.

So... Rapture.

For any of you who haven't been keeping up with the news/internet/world in general or have otherwise been in a coma of some sort, today is supposedly the beginning of the apocalypse. That's what Harold Camping thought anyway (let's not forget that he also predicted it would happen in 1994). 6pm local time, he said.

In Australia right now it's past 9pm. Nothing's happened. Of course, it's not like anyone expected it would. I mean the idea of anyone being able to predict the rapture is ridiculous in itself, especially when it says in the bible that only God knows the date of it. By predicting it with any certainty he's already disproved himself. He really should take more time with his bible, the way he's supposedly "calculated" it by taking numbers from the bible and stuff, for one, the book is meant to be accessible for everyone, that's the whole point of it: face it Harold, there are no secret messages, it's all in your head.

Despite the general scepticism that the idea has been met with, the internet seems to be using it to make a new meme. Indeed I expect there to be pictures of memes such as socially awkward penguin and things with captions like "predict the apocalypse, nothing happens". At least someone's getting some fun out of this, unlike all those Christians who think they're really going to be leaving the earth to meet Jesus. Imagine if you'd sold everything you owned for this day.

Still, having a party might have been nice, just to celebrate how we're still here and there isn't actually fire and brimstone raining down from the sky. No giant earthquakes yet either, and hopefully there won't be, but if it did happen I'd put it down to sheer coincidence anyway.

Let's face it though, Harold Camping probably isn't going to stop doing what he's doing, unless today is his personal rapture. We all have to die sometime after all. And if not? Well, third time's the charm Harold.

The Cold Mind

I have a thing about watching crime drama. I'm talking the gritty kind (not that there are many others I guess). I like those kinds of crime that make you unable to sleep well at night, and I like watching them in the evening, before I head to sleep.

I guess you could argue that it's the same thing as those who watch horror movies at night, though I can't actually do that, the tension gets to me too much. I prefer the cool chill that comes from guessing at the killer before the policemen get it, seeing them step into the killers trap and barely miss escaping.

I have a particular fondness for crime dramas about serial killers. I love Wire in the Blood for instance, which has the ability to make one's flesh crawl at times. The killers are even worse, their voices, their actions, you see everything, and even though they're not actually killers, they look like psychopaths.

Tony Hill, the main character and the psycho-analyst, brings a hell of a lot of crazy into the storylines. Not really surprising since he attempts to step into the mind of the villains, difficult not to be slightly damaged methinks. I'd love to be able to step into the head of someone that damaged, though I'm not sure how likely I'd be to survive with a good mindset afterwards.

That's it on crime dramas for now.

In other news, I've started a new writing project which you can read about here. It should be fun.

The Last Hurdle

There are less than three weeks until I finish my degree, then only time will tell what happens. I've got less that 10,000 words to go until I get there and I can't quite believe it. So close to the finish now. I can feel the achievement start to (slightly prematurely) bloom.

My plans for the summer, though full of fun, are also (hopefully) full of structure. For instance, I plan to write for an hour a day (or at least sit in front of a screen with a page open). I plan to start carrying a notebook with me to jot down stuff I see. I plan to start exercising. I plan to always be reading, And I plan to take a hell of a lot of pictures. 

At the beginning of June my parents go away for a week. It'll be fun to have the house to myself, and have the freedom to have friends come over whenever (not that I can't now, but it feels easier when there are no parents to convince (I am in their house after all)). Still, with my parents going away before I officially finish Uni, I need all my work in early which could be a challenge to say the least. Next in is the presentation of the exhibit idea which is in next week, but almost complete. 

I feel like this degree, though worth the money and effort, has made my passion for writing diminish, but this summer I am determined to get it back. I'm sure that a bit of Malta's culture and sun is just what I need. 

A Place to Write of

Today I was in a lecture and my teacher suggested the idea of starting a separate blog for writing. A novel thought. I've always thought that I shouldn't be greedy. One should be my quota for blogs. But with this one getting more and more pages added, and overflowing, I thought maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. With this ever-increasing technological obsession flowing through my entire generation, perhaps having more than one blog could even be called fashionable?

Those of you who have been following me a long time may remember my old blog - Literally Delicious. It was originally a project for an assignment in my second year and while it was out for marking this blog was born in it's place so that I could continue blogging. It was a sad thing when I realised that I preferred this blog. I didn't go back to the blog I had before and, instead deleted it.

You guessed it! It's back! I remade it, brand-spanking-new (Visit it!)! In it I will provide information about my writing experience in far more detail than anything I have ever written here on the subject of writing. This may be in the form of a word count. Maybe I'll tell you where the inspiration for a story came from. Perhaps it'll just be the kind of thing I'm writing, or the time I've taken writing, or how hard it was forcing the words onto a blank page. Whatever it is, there will always be writing going on somewhere in my life. And don't worry, I'll update it whenever something fairly significant happens in my writing life.

Meanwhile, what was once the origami page has become the Arts and Crafts page, with more than just origami now. I guess that page has become a sample of the other crafts I'm interested in. I have a tendency to become obsessed with a craft, do a lot of it and then move on. They do come back around, though the chopping and changing does mean that I can't really reliably make money off them. The only "craft" that sticks around is writing.

Writing is what I'd call a passion, while other crafts are just hobbies (I do have a lot of hobbies).

On a completely unrelated note: What is it with people still dropping out of Uni. We're what? A month away from finishing? Where's the sense in throwing away almost three years for a single month just because you can't be bothered any more? Come on guys! Man up!

Loose Ends

I love Ikea, it's so full of wonderful objects to better my room. Cushions, for instance, you can get them for something like £2, serious bargain considering you'd usually pay around £6. I have four such cushions waiting to be covered. Only one problem, the sewing machine seems to be a bit mucked up. I'll spend some time looking for the cause probably Tuesday. Too much of that, though, and I'll get a bit annoyed.

I've discovered recently (on a completely unrelated note) that I don't understand people who get up late morning to early afternoon. I used to be one of them myself (or pose as one) and, honestly, it just made me feel crap, tired, headachey and generally miserable. There's something so invigorating about being up first thing in the morning, smelling the cool air just as the sun is rising. But I guess those who do the in-bed-until-late-morning/early-afternoon thing don't get how I work either.

Post FYP madness is almost completely calm. My mind is focused on the tasks ahead of my finishing Uni now. Those loose ends to tie up. It feels like a storyline where the crescendo has just been reached. The moment that our hero has been leading up to for the last three years has finally passed, she's succeeded at being in the right place at the right time. Now all that's left are those sub-stories, the secondary romances - will they? won't they? - the dead need burying; the army needs disbanding; life returning to normal. No more turmoil, just restoration of normality. That's what my next assignments feel like, the loose ends.

I'd forgotten how much letting someone else read my work actually inspires me to write. Perhaps when I'm done with these other assignments I can get back to writing the new version of Just Out of Reach. From the two people who have read the creative piece I submitted as my FYP, I have heard that it has an addictive quality: a great sign. It makes me wonder if this piece can get me a first... seriously, that'd be great.

My eyes are now firmly set on Malta this summer. I'm looking forward to what could be seen as a trial run for living with Ash (as it looks like Mark may be living with him when he moves over here. In turn that means I'll be spending a lot of time there too, though probably not living there for some months). The sun, the sea, even the dust are all things I miss about Malta. I also miss the carefree feeling that I feel when I'm there, and after this year I'll need that. I'm looking forward to Sicily too, but that's another story.

In other news: with the purchase of origami paper yesterday, came the exploration of certain folding artistic stuffs (seen in the Origami Treasures page) and I now have a whole collection of dragons. It's fun and I've memorised several patterns so that I don't need to look them up. I've been thinking of a use for them, and believe I've come up with something... but that's for me to know.

Anyway, it's getting late and I should be heading to sleep to get up bright and early. Later readers.

FYP Madness

With the deadline drawing oh-so-near my Final Year Project (or FYP) has been taking up so much time. Since Mark went back to Malta I feel like I've been working on it non-stop. It's true that I had little or no actual writing to do, but as this piece of work could make or break my degree I wanted to make sure it was spotless. I say "was" because it's now printing downstairs. The work isn't over though, oh no, there's still much to be done, mainly with a highlighter and some numbering.

Even though it's not quite over, I can feel my eyes already starting to turn to summer and the joys of Malta once again. I long to feel that sun, the ocean around me, and the company of that Mark that I love on a more permanent basis.

To be honest, when I look back at that time, almost a year ago now, I would never have imagined that it would go so fast. This last year has probably been the best so far, in my education, probably even my life, and certainly since I became a teenager.

The possibility of moving out in a year or two is also one of those that I am coming to really look forward to. I've enjoyed hanging on to my childhood, it's true, but my time at home is becoming tiresome, there are moments in this family home when I long not to be living here. I love my parents, but sometimes I don't agree with the way they deal with my brother, or even each other.

Easter, certainly, taught me that, though me and Mark are both tidy people we cannot be contained within one room and be content. The smallest things annoy me such as the movement of cushions or the appearance of items on my shelves. It seems that with this room I'm more territorial than I first thought.

On the plus side, Mark seems to quite like House, which I see as a key advantage for him. He's also hooked on Dr Who. I think he'll fit in just fine over here.

Spring Adventures

Last Tuesday saw the arrival of my one and only Mark (as well as the release of Portal two). Since then we have been on a couple of crazy adventures, as well as some not so crazy ones:

London
On Thursday, Mark, Hayley and I journeyed into London on the train. The journey itself is one of over an hour, but we came prepared with Uno cards and managed to get a table.

We arrived in London shortly after eleven am, and headed to the destination of the Tate Modern. Our outing was supposedly to see art and gain a little culture, but after realising that the majority of the art (even in the Tate) was paintings, we decided that our boredom was not about to be remedied by the type of art you hang on walls. To be perfectly honest, when I think of the kind of Art I enjoy the most, I think of sculpture. I guess I find more interest in something that I can walk around and potentially interact with than something that I'm not even allowed to photograph. Aside from the photo to the left, I found very little interesting there.

Instead of going with the plan of visiting two more galleries, we decided to head to the sea-life centre in London near the London eye, which meant jumping on the tube and heading back to Waterloo and walking from there. The London Eye was jam packed with people, it was such a lovely day, so I guess it wasn't surprising.

The sea life centre was pleasantly cool, and well worth the money. From turtles to familiar finned tropical specimens, every second inside that dark cool building was enjoyed. I got this especially nice picture of a zebra turkyfish (right).

The way back was fairly uneventful, except for the presence of sushi (perhaps a bit ironic looking back on it) and more Uno.


A day out with Ash
Yesterday we went on another adventure with Ash. It was the original plan to go and see a film, but after looking at the schedule and deciding that we actually didn't want to see anything playing, we decided to go swimming instead. And we would've done... if we had actually felt like it at the time. As it was though, we thought that a shake-a-way was far more called for than a chlorine filled pool full of kids. I ended up with a double peach, Mark a double raspberry and Ash a double milky-bar.

After that we decided that we could go to Ikea and walk around. The massiveness of the place was probably what drew us to it. And the idea of decking out yet more of our lives with flat-pack works of genius. As we were walking around I snapped this shot of Ash sitting in the cushion box with mark attacking him with cushions (left).

After Ikea we headed back to Ash's where we spent a good portion of the evening playing Mariokart Wii and watching The Forty Year Old Virgin, a film I hadn't seen until last night. It was a good film, it has to be said.

Soon afterwards we headed out for fish and chips, a delight to say the least, and then home.

In the coming week there are sure to be more adventures, so stay tuned. :)

What Should I Say?

Relationships can be tough, I know that much, but sometimes friendships can be even tougher. When you're close to someone but they're blind to what they're doing, how do you tell them? How do you let them know that the things they say and do get an audience of shared glances from those listening, and that whenever they say anything about a subject, that they don't actually know about, the rest of the group just nod and smile because they've learnt not to contradict. And if you do tell them, how do you do so without getting a backlash of nasty words shot in your direction.

I remember a particularly ugly moment in one of the relationships I had where the guy I was seeing, when confronted by his mother, told her that I had done something that he had done to get himself out of trouble. To be honest I should've left right then. People who can't take the blame for their own mistakes, now there's a subject. I could probably harp on for hours about them, but I won't, I'll just say this: it's an unattractive quality and in my opinion one that needs to be squashed. It's almost the same as not admitting you're wrong.

I wonder, sometimes, if people examine their own actions in hindsight like I examine mine. I see myself in a neutral light when I do, and anything that I did wrong gets apologised for and wiped clean. I know that I have no right to judge someone else's relationship, so I try not to. There are always two sides to every story, and when you look at both it often becomes clear that whatever happened was a joint effort, whether you like it or not.

Recently I remember a particularly volatile conversation in which the other person blamed everyone except themselves for the news I had just given them. They called it backhanded, and yelled a lot. If they'd got their act together in the beginning we probably wouldn't have had that moment when they yelled and I sat and took it. Let's face it, we'd been talking about it since last summer when Mark came over the first time. But you didn't suggest it then. We talked about it in more depth at Christmas, but you didn't do anything about it then. And now you claim it's too late, but someone else has found flights, and I'm not even sure you wanted to come in the first place. You ask what his problem is with you, but I think it's you who has a problem with him. He doesn't say bad things about you, yet you blame him for my mistakes, and your own too. Blame me and you. Leave him out of it.

Rant over. That's it. Later guys.

Old Friends

Sometimes I wonder what drives the need for us to make friends and connect with people. Is it peer pressure? I mean we're pushed from a young age to make and keep friends, to play together nicely, and to learn to share with them. Or is it a deep-seated need, a need to be understood and feel we're worth the time?

I don't have many friends, I've never been very good at keeping them, though I'm told I make them easily. I tend to treat most people I meet as friends, it's true, but the majority of them only ever get labelled as acquaintances. If I were to put a number on how many good friends I have I would say three (four if you count my sister Lizzie). I guess when I open up to people I do it slowly, though I'll give insight to everyone, I won't give just anyone the pieces of me though.

After Hayley and Ash broke up, I was unsure about whether we could all still be friends. I listened to Hayley talking about things a lot in the month after and me and Ash didn't talk all that much. Recently, though (actually since my computer broke), me and Ash have been talking a lot more. I enjoy playing guild wars with him, probably for the first time ever, and all in all it feels like I'm reconnecting with an old friend.

In college, me and Ash were very good friends. We talked every day, saw each other every day, and we had a genuine friendship. We talked a lot from random stuff to relationship stuff, even in the year that we hardly saw each other we remained friends.

I think, though, that when he and Hayley got together I moved away a bit, emotionally and mentally. I didn't want to get in the way, and I am very aware that I flirt... a lot. When I say this I don't mean that I lead men on or anything, I am always clear about my intentions. The reason I withdraw is because I don't want to be "that girl who flirts with you" as labelled by the girlfriend, because girls never trust the intentions of other girls, even if they're best friends. I don't want to be the one who she brings up every time you fight, or whatever. So I withdraw.

Now that me and Ash have reconnected though, I feel as if our friendship has more staying power. We've fallen straight back into the way we used to be. We have strange conversations involving the world domination of hamsters and how Thor (my guinea pig - see a few photos page) is the chosen one who will lead the guinea pigs to victory.

I'm looking forward to spending much time with Mark and Ash while Mark is over (and Hayley if she doesn't need to spend the time on her FYP).

I hope we will do many awesome things this Easter.

Dust and Bunnies

Ever had one of those days when you feel like everything you touch just turns to dust and falls apart? I seriously feel like I'm having an entire week like that. Until now I didn't really realise how reliant I am on being able to game. It may sound strange to some of you, but without Guild Wars I find myself unable to concentrate on anything else. I hesitate to say bored because I reply to anyone complaining of boredom: "only boring people get bored".

It started with the graphics card: sadly, my 9800 GX2 is dead. As is Ash's 8800 ultra. I have my fingers crossed that the Radeon that I bought won't also fail. But it's not that that reinforces the dust thing, it's the fact that now my computer isn't detecting my ethernet cable.

It's times like these I'm glad that I have geeky friends.

In other news, I made a bunny out of an old sock today. It's cute, but it did take a couple of socks to get right. Thankfully my sewing machine didn't turn to metaphorical dust, and nor did the needle I used to finish it off.

I've been thinking recently about determination. Seeing my niece learning to walk is what has sparked these thoughts, when she falls down she just gets straight back up. She's determined to learn to walk, but recently my determination has been draining, especially with the computer thing. I confess, at this moment, that I know very little about computers, and at this stage I can only make educated guesses and that's just not good enough when it comes to fixing things, and to be honest, looking at my computer when she's ill makes me think that she's really delicate.

Graphics Cards

It's been a while since I've even looked at my blog. I guess at the moment it's just not one of the things on my mind.

Mainly this week has been consumed with thoughts of computer hardware. My graphics card failed on Wednesday just before a mid-week dungeon. It annoyed me to say the least, especially since the others decided against doing it because I was the primary monk.

Thankfully, though, I have good friends. Ash in particular has become a saviour to my computer, and has put a hell of an effort into seeing my computer come out of this in several working pieces if not one complete piece. At the moment I am waiting on a graphics card that I know won't arrive until tomorrow. But while I wait Ash has lent me his spare gaming laptop so that I can do the same stuff I would normally. So I'd just like to say thank you, Ash, once again you have proved yourself a true friend.

In other news, Mark's trip over for Easter is beginning to get close: sixteen days, so I'm told, and I'm looking forward to it greatly. There remains much organising to be done, however, trips to London to date, possibly even a trip to Lego land.

As well as that, I really do need to get my FYP rationale down on paper. I seem to have hit a wall of books with it, but I plan to sit down for a good portion of time (when this computer crisis is sorted) and get the word count. At least I'm not doing as badly as some people.

Just a short post today I guess.

These Happenings

Thor enjoys sunny days on the lawn

It feels like ages since my last post, I guess life is taking its toll on my blog productivity. Since the last post things have moved on fairly well, Hayley has started learning to Monk, I've handed in two assignments, I've started thinking about my FYP's rationale, I've gained a flare for making cushion cases, and a new elephant egg cup has arrived on my desk.

In the world Libya has been restrained by the EU (enforced cease-fire brought about by us bombing their military which seems a bit hypocritical to me), Burma had a six point earthquake, the nuclear problems seem to be under control again, and the weather is becoming drastically warmer.

In other news, the nest box has gone into my budgie's aviary and I am hoping for some breeding soon, possibly some eggs too! It would be great to see some tiny little baby birds come out of that small hole and spread their wings. With that much space it won't matter if they're a mix of boys and girls either. It seems fairly empty in there with just the two of them.

Meanwhile Thor is loving it on the grass at the moment, though he is getting a bit too much when it comes to greens now so I may have to cut back on what I give him. The girls are doing fine, though they're not able to go out on the grass for now as they can (and will) get through the bars on the run. Clover's mischievous streak continues to no end, but I do love her peppy attitude. My parents keep making comments about how loud the girls can be for no reason at all other than that they know you're around.

Other than that, the recent development of a cold has hit me. I was pushed flat yesterday, but feeling better today. I think I can thank my brother for the sudden appearance of this cold.

I'm also looking forward to easter and seeing the lovely Mark again. Let's hope for good weather. :)

Nature vs Nurture

When it comes to people's actions sometimes we're not exactly sure of the motivation behind them. The nature/nurture battle, who do we blame? The parents? Or DNA? This is a difficult question, but I think that if we want to assign blame to anyone it should be the individual; Ultimately it is the individual who chooses to do what they do in the first place, they decide how they react when their parents tell them what to do, they decide whether to take a friend's advice. Sure, they had a troubled childhood, but plenty of people come out the other side stronger for it. A lot of them make it to the top regardless, and they do it by using their anger to fuel work and dedication, not by lashing out at others.

Forgive me while I indulge in my own upbringing for a minute: I was brought up in a family that got up very early, I get up very early. This could be either nature or nurture. I was brought up with a family where one parent is tidy and the other is messy; when I was younger I was messy, just like my dad, and now I am tidy like my mum. I find myself fighting with the urge to leave things untidy all the time. At times I can't be bothered to do anything. I buck authority, like my dad, but know it need to respect it, like my mum. I am patient, like my mum, but if you make me angry, I get very aggressive, like my dad. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that it's difficult to separate nature and nurture from each other and define what causes what. These things could be programmed in, or they could be things I've learnt.

Recently I've been wondering how I'd define wisdom. I certainly wouldn't define it as knowledgeable, I think that's a common mistake. Some people think they're wise just because they know a lot of stuff. You know about philosophy and religion and science and that's all well and good; wisdom is about the present though, and looking into the past, with philosophy for instance, isn't going to help you with that. I personally believe that wisdom can never be obtained because it's always evolving into something new. However, I also think that a big part of wisdom is recognising when you're wrong and being able to admit it. Major developments in this are also about looking at yourself objectively, which is obviously difficult to do in most circumstances. Part of wisdom and moving past the nature/nurture thing, is probably seeing what you can change and changing it. The point here is the action - the saying "actions speak louder than words" remains true in this case.

On the reverse of wisdom is, of course, pigheadedness. I know I fall prey to it from time to time; I know that everyone does. However, pigheadedness (to me) seems to be born out of cowardice, it seems simply to be fear of being discovered as fake and/or wrong dressed up as arrogance. Those who suffer a lot from pigheadedness seem to be full of long words and sentences, flourishing with intellectual words and phrases that, if you unpick them (and a lot of people don't), mean absolutely nothing. In short, you ask a simple question with a possible one word answer and get back a paragraph about nothing in particular except a load of bullshit about how life is full of fateful moments and how we should live life by that. Don't be fooled, no matter how hard you look into it, there isn't an answer.

The more I study people, the more I respect those people who admit they're wrong, say sorry (if they need to) and move on with life. Because life is too short for regret (wow that sound cliché), grudges and pigheadedness.

So to those who are pigheaded I ask: Why are you scared to let anyone near you? Is it rejection? Because you're more likely to get rejected as you are, and it will probably hurt just as much. You fool people now, but trust me, in a couple of years they will have grown up, and when you come back they'll see right through you.

Earthquakes, Plane Tickets, and Voltaic Spears

With the media flooded with images and information about Japan and its 9 Richter scale earthquake, this weekend has been particularly interesting on the news perspective, especially with regards to the possible nuclear hazard that may still happen.

Apparently people have been sending in letters and texts to the news and letting their feelings be known. Some of them think we should shut down our nuclear plants, but what I want to know is why? I mean, I understand that they're scared and stuff, but the only reason Japan is having these problems in the first place is because they had a MASSIVE earthquake followed by a Tsunami that wiped out their power to the plant.

Japan, placed on a very active set of tectonic plate boundaries, has many many earthquakes in a year. We're talking incredibly frequently. The only reason this one is even on our news is because of its phenomenal size. It's the sixth largest in known history: that's freaking huge.

Meanwhile, Libya has thrown a tantrum that it's no longer in the eyes of the world, that has warranted it a "time out" from the big daddy UN. Last night the UN signed an agreement condoning anything but invasion to keep Libya under wraps including a no fly zone. The foreign office guy has threatened to resign because of the way the evacuation of British citizens was handled - far too much dilly dallying.

My workload for uni is increasing as time reaches an end. I'm on top of it though, which is more than I can say for some of my friends. The Easter break is also fast approaching and that means an imminent trip over from my dear Mark.

Speaking of Mark, I bought my plane ticket for the summer last night too (though I had no choice really since the prices are rocketing). Hayley's family still needs to sort themselves out with regards to Malta, and the sooner they do the sooner they'll be able to book those plane tickets. Travelling separately really was our only option, but I don't mind, I've done it enough times now.

In Guild Wars news I finally got a Voltaic Spear (see picture) which looks bad-ass. I'm really pleased with it and have to attribute thanks to Hayley who donated two ectos to the price of it.

Recently we've also been on Mumble with Amanda and Dave when forming groups for dungeons. We've got regular things going too, keeping Guild Wars interesting.

Life's good.

Parasites?

Have you ever wondered whether our presence here is justified? The Earth is beautiful, but when you look at it everything mankind does seems to destroy a part of it. Build a house, cut down trees, destroy animal homes, not to mention the kind of pollution you're producing getting materials to the site.

We build, move, leave empty houses behind, mine metal and stone from the earth, drill for oil. Because we've become so used to the idea of living in luxury, we've forgotten our responsibility to the world. Even for those of you who say that global warming would happen anyway, we can't get away from the fact that other species are dying because of our presence.

In the animal kingdom the population fluctuates. Rabbits thrive when plants thrive, foxes thrive when rabbits do. If the rabbits eat all of the plants, they have nothing to live on so their population dwindles to a sustainable level, if rabbits are dying foxes do too. It's a circle of nature, the natural order. But humans aren't like that; we seem to be building everywhere, we take advantage of land, we take advantage of nature, we farm fish and animals and crops. But you have to wonder whether this is actually sustainable.

Sooner or later cutting down trees is going to make us pay a price. As is pollution. Scientists think that we're still seeing effects from the industrial revolution, and with many other developing countries about to reach that stage of technological development, the world looks a little bit doomed.

If one more degree is added to the temperature of the ocean, the population of plankton is in severe danger. This is significant because plankton is thought to be the base of the entire food chain. We can farm crops, it's true, but down the line they'll need something to pollinate them, or something to fertilise them with.

There is no guarantee that something will happen, but many people believe it will. There is also no guarantee that we'll be here in the next hundred years.

I wonder sometimes whether we are just a parasite on this beautiful Earth. I mean how many of us really look at it and think that it's beautiful in the first place? We certainly don't appreciate it at all. We don't respect the environment.

Perhaps this is where we are going wrong. Perhaps all those natural disasters are to try and control us? Nature's way of trying to reduce our numbers because, let's face it, we don't exactly have predators. Our population is overrunning the Earth, and I'm sure we're not a healthy parasite to have. If you were the Earth you'd have used some shampoo or body-wash to get rid of us humans.

So what should the Earth do?

Blog in Pictures: Pokemon White

The brand new pokemon games (Black and White) came out today and (since I pre-ordered mine) I got mine in the post and have been playing it this afternoon. As a post is long overdue I thought I'd post about this. Instead of boring you with words, however, I decided to give you pictures. 

The Journey Begins

Bianca is late, apparently she always is. It also turns out she's a bit loopy. 

Cheren (that's the boy) seems to think Bianca needs everything spelt out for her. 

They also both keep repeating that we've been friends for ten years as if I'd need reminding that they were hanging around me for that long.

State the bloody obvious Cheren. 

This is the shot of my room after Bianca insisted we had a pokemon battle in it. 

I have a feeling this was a bad idea.

Thanks for that Prof... because I've obviously never played a pokemon game...

(though I guess I shouldn't be surprised, this is coming from someone who can't tell what sex you are).

Is it me or does he sound really reluctant? Oh well, I won fair and square. Hand it over!

What kind of name is Chili? He just sounds like an ingredient. 

Supposedly the bad guys, though they don't seem to sound so bad with this statement...

Ahhhh, normality is restored. I guess they are bad after all.

I can. I may be a girl but I'm totally becoming champion.

No Fennel... no it didn't.

What's that weird dust cloud? It looks interesting let's go and investigate it.

Oh, it's a mole. 

Yes it did. I'm so proud

What this man is doing playing an accordion for me I shall never understand. But I do like accordion music.

This concludes my post in pictures. Stay tuned for more pokemon info as I go through this brand new pokemon gaming experience.