What Should I Say?

Relationships can be tough, I know that much, but sometimes friendships can be even tougher. When you're close to someone but they're blind to what they're doing, how do you tell them? How do you let them know that the things they say and do get an audience of shared glances from those listening, and that whenever they say anything about a subject, that they don't actually know about, the rest of the group just nod and smile because they've learnt not to contradict. And if you do tell them, how do you do so without getting a backlash of nasty words shot in your direction.

I remember a particularly ugly moment in one of the relationships I had where the guy I was seeing, when confronted by his mother, told her that I had done something that he had done to get himself out of trouble. To be honest I should've left right then. People who can't take the blame for their own mistakes, now there's a subject. I could probably harp on for hours about them, but I won't, I'll just say this: it's an unattractive quality and in my opinion one that needs to be squashed. It's almost the same as not admitting you're wrong.

I wonder, sometimes, if people examine their own actions in hindsight like I examine mine. I see myself in a neutral light when I do, and anything that I did wrong gets apologised for and wiped clean. I know that I have no right to judge someone else's relationship, so I try not to. There are always two sides to every story, and when you look at both it often becomes clear that whatever happened was a joint effort, whether you like it or not.

Recently I remember a particularly volatile conversation in which the other person blamed everyone except themselves for the news I had just given them. They called it backhanded, and yelled a lot. If they'd got their act together in the beginning we probably wouldn't have had that moment when they yelled and I sat and took it. Let's face it, we'd been talking about it since last summer when Mark came over the first time. But you didn't suggest it then. We talked about it in more depth at Christmas, but you didn't do anything about it then. And now you claim it's too late, but someone else has found flights, and I'm not even sure you wanted to come in the first place. You ask what his problem is with you, but I think it's you who has a problem with him. He doesn't say bad things about you, yet you blame him for my mistakes, and your own too. Blame me and you. Leave him out of it.

Rant over. That's it. Later guys.