Happiness?

Recently, part of the news broadcast on the BBC has been a new scale to measure a person's happiness, 0 - 10 with 10 obviously being the happiest possible. It seems a strange way, to me, to measure the general happiness of the British public, especially given that most people can't tell when they're kidding themselves, and most people wouldn't know true happiness if it hit them in the face. I admit that this is a critical view to take, but I really have no option; to say I was always happy when I claimed to be would be extremely hypocritical because before summer this year I hadn't been truly happy for a long time.

If I were to measure my happiness right now on this scale I would pin it at around 7.5.

Today has been one of those days when the words just won't come. I sat for two hours with my document open, and wrote around 200 words, which is obviously not a lot. I need another 400 at least by tomorrow evening, but I hold out hope that tomorrow will be a much more productive day on that front. At least I got a lot of other things done though, the fish are all clean, for instance, and the piggies got cleaned out. But only one and a half points of my less-than-fully-happy rating would be attributed to today.

The other half of this is the gaping whole that is the absence of Mark. When I say absence I mean that he is not there to touch. I never realised that touch played such a huge part in the development of a relationship, and I count myself lucky that the beginning two months were host to such a long time together in person. It's made it much easier to be away from him, even after almost two months, I can still imagine his body against mine and still smell his delicious aroma. Of course, complaining now is not really worth the effort, especially with his next visit beginning a week today.

I remember blogging at the beginning of his last visit that I approached it with mixed feelings. In contrast, this time I am looking at it with all my feelings pointed to the pleasure of being in his company again. I'm also glad that this year I am doing exactly what I want to for my birthday. Last year, for my 21st, we went out on the town, had dinner and then had a couple of drinks in different pubs. Not a pub-crawl as such, but still not me. This year it's Christmas market, Chinese and Harry Potter! Saying I'm looking forward to it would be an understatement.

Over all though, my life in general is much more tidy. My room is tidy, my pets are now all tidy, my gaming life is tidy, my relationship with Mark is tidy and consistent, my friendship with Hayley is tidy, and those two main relationships in my life are complimenting each other, even after over four months, that's still a strange concept to me.

Anyway, life is good in general.