Great Expectations

As valentines day approaches so does the expectation of presents and surprises from loved ones. This year is the first year I'm actually taking part in any kind of valentines day celebration and I have to say I am thoroughly looking forward to it. Most of this following week's plans for valentines day involve shopping, packing and sending. I already have a few ideas for things to send.

In other news, Hayley and Ash reach their second year anniversary in five days, and I'd like to say congratulations to them (in advance in case I forget). This news ties in quite well with my subject today too as I plan to discuss the idea of overreached expectations on occasions, specifically in regard to loved ones.

So it's valentines day, and you are awaiting eagerly for that bunch of flowers or that piece of jewellery or whatever; something you've had your eye on for a while. Whatever it is, you've hinted that you want it, even gone as far as sending links to it, or pointing at it in a shop window and saying something like "that would be good for valentines day". But is it really realistic to expect it from them if you haven't outright asked them to get it for the occasion? And if that is the case, and they don't get it for you, do you have any right to be at all annoyed about it?

Sometimes I wonder about women in particular; I mean how can you hold someone responsible for not doing something you didn't ask them to do? I'm not saying that men don't do this too, but it seems to be much more common with us, especially around occasions where a present of some sort is expected. I mean, how would you feel if your other half idly pointed at a rip in the wall paper and said something like "the wall paper's ripped" and then came back from work that evening and had an argument about how you hadn't wall papered the entire room while he was at work? Pretty angry I imagine, not to mention confused as hell.

And while we're on the subject, should we expect presents for no reason? I know I don't expect them, though I can't deny I enjoy them. Spontaneity is undoubtedly an extremely attractive and coveted quality, especially when it sticks around for the duration of the relationship. But do we have a right to expect it? I mean, it sure does keep the relationships interesting, right? But I always thought that the whole point of being spontaneous was that the other party couldn't predict it. To me expectation seems to nullify the spontaneity.

Perhaps, if you do expect the spontaneity, when it comes around you don't notice it? Have you ever thought it could be that you're waiting for it? Maybe that's why your relationship's getting boring, you're looking too hard.

Doesn't anyone just enjoy their relationships anymore?