The other day I took yet another step on the path to being healed again. I know to a lot of you it looks like I am, but it'll take a long time before I'm actually ready to forget what happened. I did something, on Tuesday, that I'd been considering since the break-up back in summer: I cleared out my toy net. When I say "cleared out" I don't mean got rid of all of my toys, I just mean I got rid of the ones that I would probably never look at twice again and also all those that had any kind of connection with Alex.
It was tough, I'm not going to lie about that, but I felt better afterwards. It was done. Among the toys I got rid of was a certain lion named Lemons. He was one of a pair that me and Alex shared, and was probably the most loved of my toys for a good few years (apart from Ragtail of course). The sheer amount of tears I cried into him was probably enough to fill a small ocean and house a couple of humpback whales. I guess he was my companion through the tough times when Alex was behaving like a spoilt child.
Since there was a movement of toys in my room I decided that I would also relocate the toy net that they sit in. It's been moved across to the other side of my room above my TV and now I have an empty wall where it was. Before I put the net up in the first place, I had been toying with the idea of getting some shelves and putting them up there. I could really use the space for more books, my bookcases are overflowing and with the addition of another set of books for this semester (seriously how much do they think we should read?!) the space is even more limited.
Above all, I am trying to keep busy. Using this last week of holiday for self-improvement and room improvement too. It's a long time until I get to touch Mark again, and keeping busy will be the key to getting through it quickly and productively.
I'm also considering the possibility of getting two female guinea pigs to occupy the hutch in the near future. Seeing as it's still fairly cold, however, they'll need to be placed in the green house just as the boys were around this time last year. Mostly that just means clearing it with my dad. Hayley also wants to come with us as she loves baby guinea pigs. I have no idea when this will happen however, it could be any time within the next month.
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