Creativity Overload

My first night of proper sleep in around a week was cut short this morning by a persistent sister, telling me there was a phone call I had to make. My god I wish I had made coffee before making that call, but as it is I didn't. I know I couldn't have done any better with that call even with a caffeine boost, let's leave it at that.

The last few days have actually felt good to me, my life doesn't feel as derailed as it did before and I'm actually looking forward to some possibilities in the remote future. To my two main rocks in this painful time: I am eternally grateful. I just hope that I can be there for them in their times of need. Hayley, Mark, I love you guys.

The rain that started last night felt far more refreshing and in tune with my mood than I think it has ever done. As I have mentioned in previous posts I do love the rain, and with the slow return of my passion for life, I've gained a new respect for it. After the constant assault of hot humid weather, the wind and rain was as beautiful a change as they come. The smell of the world around me refreshing itself was almost intoxicating, and now I long to go walking in the rain, to feel it kissing my skin. My poetic senses are stirring more than they have in months, and part of me longs to write, to fill pages with meaning and images. I am holding myself back at the moment, my imagination needs to hit a certain level before I can start without stalling.

Along with my creative juices, my mind is also concentrating on organisation. After an intense conversation about interior decoration, I'm itching to tidy and rearrange my room yet again. I feel like a total overhaul of my small world would be an immense idea, starting with my room, and working outward to achieving goals that, before, I had only dreamed of. My mind is already picturing new layouts, new ideas.

I'm also looking forward to the arrival of my dvd of Alice in Wonderland. And, as long as Hayley's birthday present arrives too, I shall be seeing her tomorrow. This smile on my face is real, though still concealing some fears, pains, and insecurities. What can I say? I'm still healing, but with the help of my friends I know I can get there.